That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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