A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
