I hate all girls vehemently.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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