saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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