They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
