Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
