last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She's not a foreskin expert like you
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
