I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
