This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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