But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
