What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
