Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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