4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
