omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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