i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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