Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
