That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
