My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
