We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
