It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
