Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
