yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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