It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
