Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
