One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
