why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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