I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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