I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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