im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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