I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
as a side note pls kill me
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