But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize