Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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