think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
