Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
