you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
