bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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