Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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