I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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