Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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