i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
