How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
