Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
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