Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
