It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
