My room smells like vodka and shame
she was so not down for the gang bang
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
