Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
