Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
