You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Damn victory sex feels great
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
