he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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