is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
