She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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