i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
