Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
